So what have those sonsabitches been up to lately? Most of you are aware of my rants and I'd like to examine the history of them and why I continue the practice, without saying fuck too often.
I have forgotten many of the reasons those rants are there, but not the feelings I had while writing them, mainly frustration and loathing of the company. How many times can you tell a person to wait? I mean fuck, it gets a little tiring after a while and eventually the brain either stops working at all the wrong moments or it simply implodes, often with a quiet bahhhh.
So anyway, I move positions in the company, being tired of the pressure of sales without much of a product to sell. I get to manage product now; I get to tell the engineers to hurry the fuck up and sort out that power supply or to get off their ass and get testing. I say it nicely, of course, gotta team build, gotta get everyone on board with the vision, etc, et al, and so on. Still, we have a good team all around and I look forward to it.
Further down the road brings problems of advancement. MBA? Well jesus jumping christ $40k for a basic program is not something I can support now or even in a few years. MA? Half that, looking better but still... I guess I'll see to it later, I need to get ramped up in PM first.
But back to the Ball Busters. Is it normal to stiff an employee of a "freebie" trip he's earned as promised by middle management? Is it normal to deny wage increases because we are in a growth phase? I've accepted it all because I see the vision, the big boss is quite convincing and trustworthy, the bank is on board with financing, etc. But still, a guy's got to eat, a guy's got to advance, a guy's got to feel valued, and the constant whining of "next fiscal will be better" is a bit of a drag and a bit of a drain on the patience well.
And now they take my laptop away. What. The. Fuck. Is the phone next? How about my cheap office chair that smells worse than it looks (believe me it ass-ugly). I have to buy my own pens facrissakes because the ones they buy are the cheapest available (and are ass-ugly too). They pay for coffee but it is probably the worst in history, something closer to stale molasses with a bit of water.
Is the brass ring worth it? Is the big pay day actually going to happen? All signs show positive at this point, and having five and half years of sweat equity should mean something. Regardless of all that, it will be fun and I will be learning a helluva lot every day.
But I will still say fuck rather often.